i really wonder why am i even bothered.
its like, i really thought everything was over; i'm not thinking, not caring, unbothered about your absence.
but hey, no. not totally gone.

its just what happened today that made me think, why does my thought still wander towards you in the end?
people are telling me about you. it kinda made me really think through.
why have you become like this? you aren't the person you were when we were still close.
you are no longer bothered about anything, no longer observant, perceptive, caring, and putting others before self anymore. what happened really.

sometimes i really wanna blame myself because it might be because of me that have landed you like this, but maybe this is just my wishful thinking after all. i feel that i am thinking too highly of myself if this crossed my mind. who am i to you?

please dont be like this. i know you will never ever see this, and you would never want to. but really, i am worried, and i am concerned as a friend, nothing more and nothing less. i have always treated you as a really true friend; no one have ever replaced your spot, not even....

i just dont know what has happened this year. please give me a chance to talk to you soon. i hate just listening and not just unable to do anything.

dont let me be the last to know.